geometry, or the “circle” of life

by Miss What's-Your-Name-Again?

Dear Student Who Asked Me if She Would Ever Actually Have to Use Geometry in Real Life,

I’m so sorry for flat-out lying to you and telling you “sure.” You won’t remember any of this shit in ten years, and you won’t have to.

Example: I recently purchased an area rug from Ikea, and had to consequently purchase the accompanying Vvlürparg anti-slip underlay, which is appropriately sized to accompany exactly 0% of the rugs offered at Ikea. After a good fifteen minutes struggling with my iPhone calculator in a halfhearted attempt to figure out how many Vvlümpignewtons I would need to cover my [increasingly-seeming-not-worth-the-trouble] rug, I uneasily put two in my cart.

Well, as it turns out I was still a few feet short (how many feet?  I don’t fucking know!) And guess what? Rug still works fine.

Unfortunately, you still have to do your geometry homework. Why? Because we all did. It’s the “circle” of life.  See what I did there?


Miss What’s-Your-Name-Again?