the price is right

by Miss What's-Your-Name-Again?

Dear Hebrew Teacher,

If you don’t recall, here’s how it went down. I think you were taking a very long time explaining the story of Chanukah to the kids but, as usual, I am ashamed to report that I wasn’t paying very close attention. You put on your “bad guy” fedora, and said, in a very mean voice:

“If you give up Torah, and wearing kippot, and celebrating Shabbat, I will give you chocolate chip cookies!”

The children watch you, slack jawed. You then whisper to them, “Say no way!”

The children shout, “NO WAY!”

“What if I give you cookies and toys!  Will you give it up then?”


“How about cookies and toys and lots of candy!”


“How about a trip to Disneyland, lots of legos and chocolate cake, and Star Wars toys, will you give it up then?”

It is at this point when a little boy in the back throws up his hands and, with a sigh, shouts, “Okay, fine!”

There are a few lessons to take from this. For one, most everyone has a price. Particularly when you’re three. Two, you just don’t fuck around with Star Wars.


Miss What’s-Your-Name-Again?